Dear Darren
by reading5girl
Summary: This is my second fanfic ever, so be nice! I love feedback, so please comment or send me a message! I do not own anything! This is a letter written by Larten Crepsley (with the help of Debbie) addressed to Darren. This letter was written shortly before (SPOILERS) Larten's death. There are major spoilers for both the Saga of Darren Shan and the Saga of Larten Crespley. Enjoy!


Dear Darren,

I fear that do not have much longer on this earth. It is hinted that I will soon be joining our fallen comrades in Paradise. I have convinced Debbie to help me write this letter, but I am afraid I won't do it justice. I guess the appropriate place to start is the beginning.

I was born in 1794. I lived with my parents, my seven siblings, and my cousin, Vur Horston. We had a strong bond. We worked together in a silk factory. The foreman, a vial man named Traz, would dye our hair based on the section of the factory that we worked. As you can probably guess, our section was orange. One day, Traz provoked Vur. There was a fight, and Traz killed Vur. He drowned him, right then and there. I lost control. I stabbed Traz to death. After that, I ran away. I ran out of the city, and soon I could not run anymore. I hid in a crypt located in a cemetery. That is where I met Seba. He took me in as his assistant. He taught me how to survive, and how to live like a vampire. One day, while traveling with the Cirque, I met a boy named Wester. His family was killed by the mad Vampaneze Murlough. Wester swore he would avenge his family's death. Seba took Wester on as another assistant. In 1819, we both became vampires. From there, we went our own way for a while.

After a rebellious period, we went back to Vampire Mountain. Seba was given the position of Quartermaster. I was happy for him, but I did not want to stay in the mountain. I found myself at Evanna's. I met a young human girl by the name of Malora, who was one of Evanna's servants. One night, drunk, I attempted to kill Evanna. She cut my cheek. Frightened and embarrassed, I fled. To my surprise, Malora came with me. I grew suddenly ill. As you know, vampires do not get human diseases. What I had driven me insane. I insisted on going on a ship, and she joined me. One night, I was caught feeding. The whole ship turned against me, and they killed Malora. Next thing I knew, everyone was dead. I killed them all. All of them, except a baby. I was horror struck. I can never express the remorse I felt. I orphaned this child. Seeking any source of redemption, I took the baby with me. Together we trekked across Greenland. I did not know where I was going, but I kept going. I wanted to find a nice place for the baby to die. I was going to kill myself. I found just the place. The Palace of Perta Vin Garhrl. Before I could end my life, however, I was stopped by none other than Desmond Tiny. I suddenly found the will to live again. Before departing, Mr. Tiny named the child. He named him Gavner Purl.

Gavner and I journeyed to Paris where I met a young woman named Alicia. I was deeply in love with her. I asked her to take care of Gavner for I did not deserve his love. I was rather stoic with him. You have no idea how much I regretted it. I just wanted him to be happy. While in Paris, I met up with an old friend of mine, Tanish. I should have killed him the moment I saw him. During an argument with Tanish, he killed a girl. He framed me for the murder, so I had no other choice than to flee. I went to Vampire Mountain and started training to be a general. One day, before council, I met Arra for the first time. She was only a human assistant of Mika at the time, but I still tried my luck. She wanted nothing to do with me. She was as fiery as ever. Mika told me about Arrow and his wife who was murdered by the Vampaneze. So I traveled with him. This time, with Wester in tow. Once we got Arrow under control, Wester and I traveled to Paris to check on Alicia and Gavner. I find her, widowed, but with a daughter, Sylva. I had also found out that Tanish had turned Gavner into a vampire. Outraged, I went back to Vampire Mountain and asked Vancha for help. We found the two of them in Russia. I challenged Tanish to a duel, but he refused. I let him go, but Vancha killed him. This upset Gavner. Gavner declared that he would hunt me down to the ends of the earth and kill me one day. I told got on my knees, confessed that I murdered his parents, and told Gavner that my life was in his hands. Gavner, obviously, did not kill me. He did the unthinkable. He forgave me.

The two of us traveled back to Paris for a while. Spending time with Alicia. I dearly wished we got to spend more time with Alicia and Sylva, but our clan came first. We had a mission to complete, so we left Paris. While on our mission, we ran into Wester. Still outraged by his family's murder, he was still in favor for a war with the Vampaneze. I declined his offer. Before leaving, Wester warned me that a Vampaneze by the name of Randel Chayne was looking for me and that he might target Alicia. I was troubled, but I doubted that Randel would target her. Gavner and I went back to our mission, as we were expected to do. After a while, we decided to go back and check on Alicia and Sylva. To our horror, and my despair, Alicia was murdered. It is all my fault, what happened. I should have been there to protect her. I was sure that Randel Chayne was the killer, and I was going to make him pay for it. I entrusted Gavner to watch over Sylva, and I went hunting for Randel. I searched everywhere, but I did not find him. I grew angry. I thought that the only way I could find him was if I joined Wester in his plans. This upset Vancha. We dueled, but he spared my life. After that, I no longer helped Wester with his plans. Once I recovered from my injuries, I continued my hunt for Randel Chayne, this time with Arra, now my mate.

After another failed attempt, I went to visit Sylva again, where we watched the Cirque du Freak. On the last night of the show, Wester and Gavner came with the news that I was elected to be a prince. I was rather pleased, but that was short lived. I found Sylva crying. Attempting to comfort her, I asked her what was wrong. She revealed that the man who killed her mother was not Randel, but Wester. I told Gavner to go back and tell the Princes that I declined, and I went to confront Wester. I demanded to know the truth. Wester killed Alicia and framed Randel for the murder. Wester hoped it would provoke me and help turn the tide on his failed attempts at war. I had no choice. I had to kill him. I had to kill the man that I saw as my brother. It tore me apart. I went to live with monks. I wanted nothing to do with vampires. Before I left the monks, I was given Madam Octa. I joined the Cirque as a recurring act. I felt as if there was a hole in my chest, but the structure of the Cirque was reassuring to me. I was starting to enjoy life.

That was when you came in. I remember that show as if it was yesterday. As I walked on stage, I scanned the crowd. Two children were in attendance. I thought this was rather odd, but I thought nothing else of it. That was until the blasted Steve gasped. I could not believe it, someone recognized me. Not just anyone, but a child. I was instantly intrigued. I had a feeling that the boy would want to seek me personally after the show, so I hid in the rafters. I sat there for a while, waiting. I did not, however, expect to see you hiding on the balcony. I should have known there that you were a sneaky little thing. Anyways, you know what happened next almost as much as I do. I denied your crazy friend of his wish. There was no way I was going to make that kid my assistant. I tried to push him and you out of my mind. That was when you stole my spider, and my quiet life spiraled out of control again.

If I am being completely honest with myself, I do not know what made me blood you. You were a child. I had no good reason to do it. I just knew that I had to have you as my assistant. It was not until I watched you struggle with drinking blood until I questioned my motives. I questioned why I damned you to this dark world. I saw you getting sicker and weaker, and yet, you still held onto your humanity as tight as you could. I could not bear to see you suffer. I tried to force you to drink, but that just caused you to put more distance between the two of us. That was around the time you met Sam Grest. You talked to me about letting him join, but I told you he would have to become a vampire. That was not necessarily true. Sam reminded me of Wester. I did not want history to repeat itself. I wanted to protect you from what I have gone through. When Sam was dying, all I could think about was you. I saw a young boy dying, and I thought "I must not let this happen to Darren." That is why I had you drink his blood. I wanted to save you.

Skip ahead a few months, we were back in the town I was born in. I was hunting down Murlough. It was not so much that I was protective of my hometown, but because of Wester. I was doing it in the memory of him. When Murlough had Evra Von, I was sure that you were going to trade my life for his. However, you surprised me. I was touched, and very proud. You continued to make me proud. You survived the journey to Vampire Mountain, you stood up for me when confronted by the Princes. You took on the Trials of Initiation. Putting you through those was the hardest thing I have ever done. Every task you did, brought you one step closer to death. I hated seeing you so hurt. It was hard to remind myself that this was the vampire way. Yet, you faced the tasks ahead of you with so much optimism and motivation it was frightening. When you failed the Blooded Boars challenge, I was horrified. I could not let you get executed. I worked desperately to get you pardoned, only to find out that you have run off. Nothing was worse than thinking that you were dead. I searched for you, praying to the gods of the vampires that you were still alive. And you were. You revealed the truth to everyone about Kurda and for your courage, you were made a Prince. For a while, I was sure everything was going to turn out alright for once. I thought that everything was going to fall into some sort of normality from there. That was when Desmond Tiny showed up. He told us that we would have to hunt the Lord of the Vampaneze with one other if we were to win this war. From there, you, Harkat, and I left the mountain.

That brings us to the present. You are currently sleeping. I know you are most likely wondering why I never told you any of this in person. The truth is, I did not want you to think less of me. I have made many mistakes in my life, blooding them was one of them. I took you away from your family for no good reason. You were just a child. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. Blooding you may have been a mistake, but I am very glad I have you in my life. You have given my life meaning. I am very proud to see the vampire you are becoming.

If I have one regret, it would be that I never told you that I loved you. You were like a son to me. I may not have said it out loud, but I hope that you knew that. I have instructed Debbie to give this to you if I die. If I had a will, I would leave everything to you, but I have nothing of value. I do ask that you thank some people for me. Please thank Harkat, Vancha, Seba, Mr. Tall, and the Princes for me. They have made me who I am today. But please say all of that in the most masculine way as possible. I do not want them to think I have gone soft.

Darren, you are a wonderful man, and I am very proud to have acted as your master, mentor, adviser, and father. Please forgive me for all of my mistakes. It is up to you and Vancha to win this war. I have complete faith in you. I know you will make me proud. You always do. Even In Death, May you be triumphant.

Your father,

Larten Crepsley


End file.
